28 June, 2018

{ Review } The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang

about the book }

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang
The Kiss Quotient, book 1
Published June 5, 2018 by Berkley
A heartwarming and refreshing debut novel that proves one thing: there's not enough data in the world to predict what will make your heart tick.

Stella Lane thinks math is the only thing that unites the universe. She comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases—a job that has given her more money than she knows what to do with, and way less experience in the dating department than the average thirty-year-old.

It doesn't help that Stella has Asperger's and French kissing reminds her of a shark getting its teeth cleaned by pilot fish. Her conclusion: she needs lots of practice—with a professional. Which is why she hires escort Michael Phan. The Vietnamese and Swedish stunner can't afford to turn down Stella's offer, and agrees to help her check off all the boxes on her lesson plan—from foreplay to more-than-missionary position...

Before long, Stella not only learns to appreciate his kisses, but to crave all the other things he's making her feel. Soon, their no-nonsense partnership starts making a strange kind of sense. And the pattern that emerges will convince Stella that love is the best kind of logic...


my review }

♫ ♫ ♫ ♪

Okay, look, I know how the rating may seem. But consider it, like, a super high 3.5? Like normally rounded up to 4? I guess?

Writing out my thoughts for this book is complicated. Because on the one hand—so cute! Oh my god, Michael and Stella are so cute! Squeal-inducing so! But on the other—I was so uncomfortable during the sex scenes! 

Starting with the good: oh! So adorable. Stella and Michael held my heart with their interactions. I died and squealed no less than 15 times throughout. Once I started, they just made it so difficult to put down! With their fiery kisses and soft touches, it was just so swoony and adorable and, guys, I can’t. I just can’t.

And as much as I loved them together, the two of them as individuals were amazing too. I felt so much for Stella, especially her anxiety. Hoang wrote her so, so well, and at one point, I was pretty sure that Stella’s train of thought made me cry. I love Stella, so much! She deserves the world.

And Michael! If there’s ever a guy that gives you hope that, hey, maybe there are some boys out there that aren’t absolute garbage, it would be Michael.* He was just so patient and sweet with Stella and I swooned. Plus, his dedication to his family! Ugh, I die.

Okay, now for the unfortunate part. 

I think it was my mistake for not expecting the sex scenes to be, uh, like that. I’m used to YA’s fade-to-black (which, wow, I didn’t think I’d appreciate up until this level of discomfort), and the occasional lacklustre scene in NA novels. If you want to know if these scenes were bad or anything, I can’t help you. I wouldn’t know what a good sex scene was in any regard.

I was just… so awkward, reading them. I kept checking how much time until the chapters were over, occasionally going as far as distancing myself from the screen and re-orienting myself before continuing. I don’t know! I’m not used to this, and I probably should have expected it, but still! I couldn’t take it. 

Nevertheless, The Kiss Quotient was a wonderful read! A really adorable romance full of kisses and other assorted adorable scenes. I would definitely recommend it if you’re looking for a swoony read! 

*and when you meet Phil(l?)ip James, you realise that, once again, all men are garbage and all hope is lost.


buy the book }

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